Wednesday, February 23, 2011
motions of mediocrity
Sometimes I think I'm interesting, but now I wish I were and it's a strange thing to wish when I had previously thought I was but now I am not and I act weird when I meet new people and I hope they think I'm interesting and maybe I am but maybe I am not. I try to pick up on the characteristics of charming people and maybe that's pathetic and maybe I'm trying to be something I'm not and I try try try and it just leaves me empty because it's exhausting and I just want people to like me but there is always someone better and I suppose that's just how life is but maybe there is someone out there who will find me more interesting than anyone else because I will be their other half and they will be mine and I wont have to strive. And they will see me and hear my dreams and think they're excellent because I really do have plans but right now I'm just going through the motions of mediocrity. Just because life isn't bad does not make it good. Is "good" what is left when there is no more bad, or is bad the lack of good?