So last night I went to Harvest Renewal because my dad told me there would be 3 men there from South Africa talking who have a church down there where a ton of supernatural stuff is going on like raising people from the dead. They really just have the power of God in them and child-like faith. God spoke a lot to me through them. I always get impatient during worship if I'm not feeling God and then one of the men got up and started talking about "waiting on the Lord" like it says to do in the Bible. He said "When God said 'wait on the Lord', that's not some strange translation. He meant wait. It's in our human nature to try and control the Holy Spirit." and this is sort of a concept I never considered. Too often I just give up and say ok God, you're not gonna do anything so peace out, you know?
They were funny guys and I really liked them. They said some other things that touched me but I can't remember them at the moment... then they did prayer after. I realized that it's really only a mutual love for Jesus Christ that can bring you weeping into the arms of a stranger. I hate crying in front of people. I really do. It makes me feel insecure and weak. But something about getting prayed for and having the Holy Spirit come over me just makes me cry like a baby. I think I'm a very emotional person inside. They wanted to pray for healing in people and so I opened up about some stuff. It was weird spilling the beans on traumatic things that had happened in my past. Especially to someone I had never met and having them pray with me. I think it was good for me though. I don't regret it.