aaand the fisheye is back!

Kiki

Angel

books Joni gave me!

serves as a macro lense as well

DIY: lamp shade

A while ago I needed a lamp for my room and I found a really pretty base that I liked but couldn't find a shade that was equally pretty (or atleast affordable). SO! I bought a plain white lamp shade, and painted it a nature-esque design.

We all know there are those cute lampshades from places like Urban Outfitters or Anthropology, but if you make one yourself then you'll save a lot of money, and it can be any design/picture/colors you want. Just make sure you are careful with applying the paint, because otherwise when you turn on the light it will reveal a bunch of blotchiness where the paint coating isn't even. Hope everyone's enjoying the snow. I'm trying...

sketchbook/notepad

I haven't been able to post any of my pictures lately in my blog due to the fact that my computer crashed so I've been using my parents. Lucky for me, my computer's back and it has a new hard drive, but unfortunately all my old stuff is gone. Scoob is currently working on getting all my pictures back for me. Anways, these are new pictures that I was able to load onto my computer the other day so I wanted to blog about them.

Kelly made me this for Christmas and I think it's adorable :)

I've been using it for random creative things I write down but the Wednesday before last a guy came and talked named Jake Lyell (sp?) who works for Heffer International and does photography for them. He stays in Africa so I definately wanted to take notes and brought this along with me to youth group. Then went home and got my colored pencils out.

Currently listening to: Neutral Milk Hotel :-)

Breakfast

Past Saturday morning breakfast = faerie french toast.

& tea that bloomed into a flower!

[[before]]

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A thought or two

Sorry about that last post, I just got inspired by the squirrels. haaaa

On a heavier note...

I don't mean to meander, but - sometimes being a teenager really isn't pleasant.

Everything feels like the end of the world, and even recognizing that something isn't as big of a deal as I'm making it out to be, I still feel awful. and hopeless.

You can't go off on an adventure and do what you want because you're tied down by the committment that we all know as highschool. All I want to do is leave America for a little by myself and go to Africa and find something that's so much bigger than me.

That leads me to point three; we, teenagers, can barely see past our own lives. What we know is what we choose to see, which is typically only things that effect us. And only us...

I find myself questioning my emotional turmoil - is this an age thing? Am I gonna feel like this forever? blah blah blah...blah...blah...

I know these are supposed to be some of the most fun years of our lives and I don't want to take it for granted, but is it overated? Or am I missing something. I just need to go paint.

Je pose ces questions.. je pose ces questions..

a song, by me.

Chubby squirrels

on the swing set

make me happy

as can be.

Lovely Sunday

I can't promise this is the last of the kite episodes.

Roberto and Rachel Pena

Rachel and Roberto are going back to Brazil this Thursday and tonight was the last time that our whole small group would get to hang out together with Rach. Me, Annemarie, Rachel, Ellory, Kelly, Lorraine, Olivia, and Gabe all went to Heather's house and hung out talking and playing games like "never have a I ever" and "would you rather." I love hanging out with my junior girls. But I'm overwhelmed with sadness knowing that it wont happen again for a long, long time. When small groups started freshman year we were all just getting to know each other as a group, gaining trust, and forming relationships with each other and our leaders. I knew Rachel was going back to Brazil, but it wouldn't be for two years so I barely thought twice about it.

Now Rachel and Roberto are leaving... in less than a week. They haven't been at church much, so I was getting used to them not being around. But Wednesday night I picked up Sarah Pena to go to El Chaps and we ended up going back to her parents house to hang with them. I was supposed to be there for about 10 minutes because I still had homework that was due the next day but I ended up staying about an hour and a half, barely making my curfew :p I just couldn't leave when we're all sitting together and Roberto is telling hilarious stories about pranking people back in Brazil when he was a kid. I went back and hung out there Thursday and Friday night, and then saw Rachel tonight at Heather's. Hanging out with them again is making their leave hit me really hard. Of course we'll still have Gabe as our leader. And I love Gabe to death, but Rachel was like our small group mom. They've both been there for all of us through the thick and thin. The highs and lows (ha..ha..ha..) Needless to say, our goodbyes that will probably happen tomorrow morning at weag aren't going to be easy.

I'm gonna miss you guys so much. Roberto, you're hilarious and probably one of the kindest men I know. You have a huge heart and what you're doing with Seeds of Hope down in Brazil is amazing and I really can't wait to see as more kids come off the streets and into your school to learn traits that will give them a life they deserve. Rachel, you know me so well. You've been there for me, Heather, Olivia, Kelly, and Annemarie for almost 2 1/2 years straight and I can't thank you enough. Some of my favorite memories of high school have been of our small group. You light up a room and I can't tell you how much I love you and am going to miss you. Keep in touch and never give up what you're doing. You two are going to change so many kids lives. I LOVE YOU!

Nora Jones

I think I'm gonna download the newest Nora Jones cd. Has anyone listened to it/if so, is it amazing?

If anyone knows of artist that are similar to her, let me know I love new music!

British Literature

I've always been in love with the special edition penguin classics novels they have at Anthropologie, they're so gorgeous and elegant. But all of the books they have I've either 1. read, or 2. not interested in reading on my own time. We have to read Pride & Prejudice for my Brit Lit class this year and when I found out we could have any version I was stokeddd and got this one! I got it for like 7 dollars less on amazon rather than getting it from Anthro but it's the exact same book and it came in less than 24 hours. I took pictures.

pondering shmondering

Ok, ok. I haven't posted in a little bit. But truthfully, something's been weighing on my heart, and when I say that, I mean it in a good way. I've been thinking, what's one of the things that blows my mind the most about God? Here it is:

His crazy crazy love. I think about all that is on this earth that God created, and how beautiful and mysterious some things are. So many elements of the earth intrigue me; things like Niagra Falls, the mountains, a sunset, the redwood trees, whale sharks, etc.

But...He is jealous for me. ME. I can't help but compare myself to everything that I listed above and see that there really is no comparison. We are dust.

But we are His desire.

He pursues us with no end just hoping that we will look at Him -- only if for a minute. Even if no one in this world will love or accept me, He will. And it breaks my heart that I turn from Him everyday when He is working 24/7 to do the opposite.

I don't really understand why He craves our love when I'm just an insect next to everything else created...but I guess I don't really have to. I'm just happy things are that way.

If anyone wants to tell me what blows their mind the most, I really wanna hear it.

"Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world I feel like I can't take it, like my heart's going to cave in."

a song to pass the time

While the Mexican children kick rocks into the street, they laugh in a language I don't understand. But I love them, why do I love them?

Don't stay so far away from me.

This weather has me wanting love more tangeable.

Something I can hold.

Cause it's getting cold...

I say hold up our fists to the flame in the sky, and block out the light that's reaching for our eyes cause it....cause it will blind us. Yeah it will blind us. Well I've locked my actions in the grooves of routine. So I may never be free of this apathy. But I wait for a letter that's coming to me. She sends me pictures of the ocean in an envelope.

In my secret drawers.

In my pockets deep.

you will find

the

reasons

that

I can't sleep.

Pass through my life life a dream through my head. It will...it will be easy. I'll make it easy. But all I have for the moment is a song to pass the time. A melody to keep me from worrying. Some simple progression to keep my fingers busy. And words that are sure to come back to me.

And they'll be laughing. My mediocrity.

Hello there!

I just created this blog. I've been thinking about doing it for a while...but never got around to it. Then i decided for a New Years sord-of-thing that I would take a break from Facebook for the first week of January. I miss it dearly...so as you can guess, I'm bored. Not to mention I got the stomah flu Saturday so I've been cooped up in the house. Bleh. Anyhoo, that lead me to finally making my blog.
So here's what my first post will be about. It's something a little silly ;)

"Keeps the peace like a whistle blower,
Flying kites in the wintertime."
- 'Souled Out' by Conor Oberst


Me and Lauren had a bit of a childish moment last Tuesday. We went out and bought a tye-dye kite, and we flew it...from her convertable.

Freezing? Yes. Worth it? YESSSSS.